Seven, damn it you made me cry at work.Please tell me, how are your sons now? Are they okay? Are they happy? I don't know what Panda's problem is but I was blown away by all that you went through, very moving story. And as a woman, I'm impressed by your candor and how you accept responsibility for your role in your marriages. Lord, it all sounded so painful. I felt so sorry for your first wife, do you know whatever happened to her? Love the question your friend Kurt asked, I laughed out loud (co-workers looked at me like I've lost it, first tears now laughing, yep it's monday, I'll be okay on Friday) Even though I believe in God, loved Kurt's question. I'm printing your experience for my brother to read (he's 18 and inactive as well) what you shared will really help a lot of people to work through their own doubts and hopefully have the courage to be honest with themselves and leave. Hope you write that book. - V Sky
Victorian sky
JoinedPosts by Victorian sky
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105
My two week consulting trip to Bethel (the beginning of the end) Part 5
by seven006 ini knew i had a bright mind, i had been told that my whole life.
she hated going out in service but since i hated it myself we didn't go do the door to door work much.
i look back now and i can't believe how controlling and un-loving that religion had made me.
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Past lives?
by Lutece inanyone here ever try past life regression hypnotism?
i'm curious and wondering what my "imagination" will come up with.
maybe it's true.
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Victorian sky
Dear Anne, no I don't believe in reincarnation. What would be the point? But I do think deja vu is unexplained. I was in an area of Georgia once that I know I've never been to but it felt as if I had. Maybe it just reminded me of someplace else. - V Sky
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My two week consulting trip to Bethel (the beginning of the end) Part 4
by seven006 inthe next day was going to be tough.
i had to do kind of a portfolio check session with the illustrators and work on some photo retouching for an up coming italian awake magazine and work with someone from the graphics department on the miniaturization issue.
as i walked around a little bit i noticed a large hell scanner sitting in a room with a plastic tarp over it.
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Victorian sky
Dave, again this is fantastic reading, can't wait for part 5. I was in a cong with many bethalites and nobody partied as hard as they did. Good memories. I'm also thankful that my dream of getting in was never realized. I was one of those sisters that had a medical skill Bethal wanted, I met the head of the infirmary, they gave me a private tour and I met one of the ol' GB (forget which one) my application was sent directly to head of the dept. I cried when I didn't get in. One of my friend's did and she told me that sisters there were popping prozac like candy. (She works on the side as well, it's no secret though, she makes triple what they would get in a month for 8 hours of work, such a shame.) So I'm relieved I didn't get in, all those rules would have suffocated me and I have a feeling I would have been kicked out 'cause I would've told people like the b**ch in the art department to go screw herself. - V Sky
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Throwing the baby out with the bath water?
by Steve Lowry insometimes i think that because we jws were so deceived, tricked and flat out lied to by an organization that claims to be the sole representative of god, when we take the step to leave the group we (may) have a tendency to discard god as well, in the process.
i realize also there are those who by their nature (perhaps) and their point of view and ideology, that its just a natural personal kind of evolution that brings them to the point that god doesnt exist.
or, that if he does, it doesnt really play any kind of a roll in their lives.
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Victorian sky
Steve, I understand what you're saying. When I realized that this was just another religion and all the pain I went through and saw others go through I was angry for a long time. My rage wasn't directed at the GB, it was God I hated and I let him know it! I felt abandoned. I questioned whether there is a God and if so if he gave a damn about me or the human race. (the whole permission of suffering never sat well with me) then the anger gave way to grief. It was a rollercoaster I don't wish on anyone but I suspect most here know what that's like. Now, call it weak mind (I think I''m a tough cookie) or call it uneducated (think I'm damn smart) I do believe in God. I'm a Christian, I go to church, I pray, I love God. I don't believe that he uses any one religion and I don't believe that he's going to wipe out billions of people at Armageddon. I accept the fact that I don't have all the answers, there are so many things that don't make sense to me, that I don't know and that's where faith comes in. Not blind faith, but faith nonetheless. This works for me. I'm happier than I ever thought I could be. I find peace and freedom in my faith and that's something I never felt for a second as a JW - V Sky
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My two week consulting trip to Bethel (the beginning of the end) part 2
by seven006 inas we entered a door of the administration building we did not head to the elevator to take us up the eight floors to the main administration floor.
i looked around the room and asked, "what's up with her?
i was going to work with the elder from hell who ran the photography department.
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Victorian sky
Dave, Fantastic reading. You're a great story teller. Jeez, I never knew that about Lee Greenless, the perv, amazing how us lowly publishers would get df'ed for that and he gets New Orleans and the status of being one of the GB - wonder how the R&F would react to that tid bit? Can't wait for part 4 - V Sky
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Hi, my introduction.....finally.
by MonkeyPrincess ini have been reading posts for a while, but everytime i try and post my intro, i dont know what to say, so i suppose i will just write what comes to me.
lets see, i was born and raised in the "truth", i have never known anything else my whole life, so this is weird for me to think differently.
i was df'd about 4 years ago when i met my "worldly" husband, i have tried for the past 2 years to be reinstated, but i guess that i have not tried hard enough, according to the elders (who btw have not been very nice or loving toward me).
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Victorian sky
MP, welcome!!! It's great to have you. You'll find genuine love, support and freedom here. - V Sky
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I've heard all about you!
by SM62 ini have heard about this forum from someone, but i won't say who as i don't want to expose them.
i am in the process of evaluating my life as a jw.
it has been a pretty sad life - without a real feeling of 'belonging'.
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Victorian sky
Terri, welcome girl! You'll find kind and helpful people here. We really do know how you feel many of us have been there, done that. I tried to force myself to fit in but after I started having doubts, my brain rebelled against the nonsence I was hearing from the platform and reading in the mags. I understand why you're scared buy I promise, you're going to be better than okay once the dust settles. Give yourself time. When I became inactive 6 months ago, I felt so isolated, like I didn't fit in with the borg or the world. Now I'm a happy and free, you will be too. - V Sky
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..marriage relationship and normal family affections .... can continue
by core inthose who formally say they do not want to be part of the organization any more are also avoided.
what of a man who is disfellowshipped but whose wife and children are still jehovah's witnesses?
the spiritual ties he had with his family change, but blood ties remain.
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Victorian sky
Are these lies they tell themselves? or just the public? I met a JW after shopping for groceries and she was all sugary sweet. I asked her point blank why her religion attacks families with their shunning policy. She looked me in the eye and with a straight face said, 'Oh you mean disfellowishipping? It only affects the spiritual relationship' I wanted to scream bullsh**t, I lived it, I know how cruel it is and what it does to people. My 'worldy' family told me that after the way my mom was treated by our JW family for over a decade they were turned off by the religion, they thought it was sick and cruel.And I hate how they lie, just tell people the truth, disfellowshiping is emotional blackmail, like a freakin' hostage situation either stay in the borg or we've got your family and friends. Wonder how many converts they'd get with that! - V Sky
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JWs are not brain damaged, but heart damaged!
by Joyzabel inive been trying to tell my kids to be patient with the jws that they knew and with family that still are jws.
especially when the shunning is in full force.
i was excusing it as brain damaged because we couldnt reason with them or get through the mental block they have.
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Victorian sky
Steve and Joy, I am deeply sorry for your loss and the pain your JW family is causing you. I agree with Big Tex about the heart screaming when something isn't right. When my mom was disfellowshiped, elders told me all sorts of things to get me to shun her. For those of you who don't know, one 'kind' elder told me to cut mom off like a rotten limb. Another used the example of Ezekiel, that he didn't mourn his wife's death because of his assignment for Jehovah and that my mom is dead and I should view her the same way. I was told that this wonderful woman who raised me is my enemy, bad association and my living, breathing test from Satan. This is the kind of sick mentality we are dealing with here. First they say, no spiritual fellowship with the person, then it's cut em' off, they're dead. My reply was always but I love her and they would say, don't you love Jehovah more? I thank God my relationship with my mom survived that. We're very close. If the JW involved has any heart at all, their love will not be denied by the WTS or anyone else. - V Sky
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Sad again at the Service Meeting
by Euphemism inthe service meeting on thursday was really saddening, particularly the last part, about preaching with boldness.
it was about overcoming nervousness, shyness, etc in the ministry.. all these people gave their experiences about difficulties they had in the ministry.
a regular pioneer (and elder's wife) admitted that she used to just pretend to ring the door bells; service is still really difficult for her, but she does it just because she feels obligated to.
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Victorian sky
Undercover I couldn't agree more. I heard in talks and read that the preaching work is a search and rescue mission. I never felt that sense of urgency, not in 4 years of pioneering. I wasn't shy, I love talking to people but for years I felt that I was bothering people and imposing my beliefs on them. I especially hated bothering people during the holdidays or waking them up after they worked or partied all night. It didn't feel like 'the most important work being done today'. It was a great way to get to know some in the cong. (I loved coffee breaks! and we took plenty) Huxley, lol about the disabled bro. In our circut we always heard about the sis in the iron lung who preached to nurses until she died. Man, I felt so guilty after that. I was determined to plaster a smile on my face, drown in my own sweat (they don't call this the sunshine state for nothin') Whatever a JWs motive for going out, I know there would be a collective sigh of relief and dancing in the streets if the GB didn't require service anymore. I saw a young woman out in street work yesterday and my first thought was, that poor girl, just wasting her young life, wonder if any exJW thought that about me? So thankful to be out. - V Sky